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Things I've learned from my Golden:
* When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
* Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
* Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
* When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
* Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
* Take naps and stretch before rising.
* Run, romp, and play daily.
* Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
* Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do.
* On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
* On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
* When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
* No matter how often you're scolded.... run right back and make friends.
* Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
* Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
* Be loyal.
* Never pretend to be something you're not.
* If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
* When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
A Dog's Ten Commandments
1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Please cherish our time together.
For me - any seperation from you is likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment...... but I only have you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, remember that I could hurt you.... and yet I choose not to.
8. Before you scold me fo being lazy or unco-operative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I am not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old and weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too will grow old.
10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me - please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face it alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there ... because I love you so.
A Dog's Dictionary & Guide
Leash: A strap that attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your owner where you want him or her to go. Make sure that you are waiting patiently with leash in mouth when your owner comes home from work. This immediately makes your owner feel guilty and the walk is lengthened by a good 10 minutes.
Dog Bed: Any soft, clean surface, such as a white bedspread, newly upholstered couch or the dry cleaning that was just picked up.
Drool: What you do when your owners have food and you don't. To do this properly, sit as close as you can, look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet on their laps.
Sniff: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs or those people that sometimes smell like dogs.
Garbage Can: A container your neighbors put out weekly to test your ingenuity. Stand on your hind legs and push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right, you are rewarded with food wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume, moldy crusts of bread and sometimes even an old Nike.
Bicycles: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The rider swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
Thunder: A signal the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.
Wastebasket: A dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house. This is particularly fun to do when there are guests for dinner and you prance around with the contents of that very special bathroom wastepaper basket!
Sofas: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean. If there are people sitting on the couch just include them as a handy wipe.
Bath: A process owners use to clean you, drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
Lean: Every good dog's response to the command "sit," especially if your owner is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
Love: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction, shared by you and your owner. Show it by wagging your tail
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG' S DAILY DIARY
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! Kids! My favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The garden! My favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! Kids! My favorite!
5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in moms bed! My favorite!
“Don’t always keep your dog on a leash if you want him to be attached to you.”
-- A. Willametz
“There is something to be said at how quickly a dog makes friends in comparison to a human.”
“A dog is like an eternal Peter Pan … a child who never grows old and who therefore is always available to love and be loved.”
-- Aaron Katcher
“Every boy should have two things: a dog and a Mother willing to let him have one.”
-- Robert Benchley
“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.”
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
-- Gene Hill
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
-- Edward Abbey
"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue."
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
-- Dave Barry
"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard."
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
-- Josh Billings
"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made"
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
-- Holbrook Jackson
"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
--Franklin P. Jones
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
--Penny Ward Moser
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
--Andrew A. Rooney
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
-- Anne Tyler
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise."
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
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